A lot of random questions in this one

Life is still a mess but it doesn’t mean it is not a happy one! I’ve had a great day after a few more than mediocre days involving a lot of school work (that turned out to be quite pointless). The weather is getting warmer, the snow is almost melted, the sun is shining. It is one of those days that generally require a lot of determinationn to be grumpy.

Honestly, now that I sat down to write about it, it turns out nothing that great happened to describe or to make the day especially great but I’m guessing it’s always harder to share happy feelings, comes with a type of guilt for me. Why am I so happy? Does anybody care really care if I am? And for sure the people who really care are not found on different social platforms, so there comes the why again. You know how little children always want to know “Why?” and it get’s annoying because I lot of the times we don’t know all the answers and this makes us feel inadequate, or even if you answer the next “Why?” comes right after and it can go on forever? And how when you grow up you start to notice this annoyance in people or are flat out told to shut up and stop asking? And we stop asking as much. That’s excatly how I feel. I need answers and it’s not appropriate to ask for them, or is too late and the answers won’t change anything or I am the one that simply doesn’t care about the answers anymore. Questions are a funny thing, always bumping around our heads, waiking us in the middle of the night, crushing us during the day. Am I doing this right? Are the other people really doing better than me? Is this really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? Does he like me? Am I the only one that feels this way? Where does it stop?

Well this post stops here with a reminder that small stuff that are really big stuff actually are what makes us happy! Enjoy the sunshine every chance you get

-E